God: I’ve called you to something. Do this thing. Be strong and courageous. I’ll be with you. I will never leave you. I have made you for such a time as this. You’re my boy, Blue. Turn around. Look. See how everything I’ve been doing in your life has led you to this moment. See how that awful time prepared you for this? Sure. You’re welcome. High five. Get after it, tiger.
Us: What? Really!? THIS IS AMAZING! Thank you, Lord. Thank you for choosing me to be a part of this, and yes. I see so clearly how all of that struggle and frustration has been worked together by your hands to prepare me for this. I would be lost without all of that!
Wow. I will never doubt you again when I go through tough times because I know now. I mean I REALLY know that you know that plans you have for me and they are always plans to prosper me and not harm me. I trust you with everything. I’LL NEVER QUESTION YOU AGAIN!
Four minutes pass.
Us: This is scary. Come to think of it. I am not sure I heard you right, Lord. I’m going to take some time to pray over this. Feed this hungry man? hmm. I am just not sure if this is your will for my life. I- uh- yes, I think I will call several people about this. I will pray to you about this and ask you to clarify. I might even fast and put it on a social media board in the form of a survey for people to take. Then I will know. I will ask my pastor. He will know.
God: uh. Hey, friend. Remember when we spoke? You’ve got this! Haven’t I commanded you to be strong and courageous? (side glance). Yes. Right up there- see it? Remember we talked about all the stuff I’ve brought you through to be ready for this moment. Then, remember, I called you tiger and we high-fived and you were ready to jump out. I believe in you. Jump. I packed your parachute. It’s safe.
Us: Oh my gosh. I can’t believe that almost happened. Thanks, God, for being so patient with me. How do you even put up with me being so weird. You TOTALLY have my back. You are so dependable. That wasn’t doubt- just a minor freak out. heh heh. All is well. I’m good. I’m back. Nothing to see here except me believing in you, Pal!
Two minutes and eleven seconds pass.
Us: No, I am totally going to obey you. It’s just that I am going to modify it a little because I don’t think I heard you right. This part here? I can handle this. This other part is. straight. crazy. So you can’t mean for me to do that. I don’t want to get nuts, right? Am I right? I think I am right! OK. I feel really good about doing this now- this smaller portion. Maybe I will keep praying on that other part. Even my Christian friends said that part is a little cray cray.
God: I love you. You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.
Us: I am not sure.
God: Be strong.
Us: Fear has been a faithful friend.
God: Be courageous.
Us: I can’t see where this is going.
God: It doesn’t matter. I am with you. It can only go well with you.
Us: My doubt is so big. So much bigger than I knew.
God: Step. Just take one step. As tiny as a mustard seed. And then watch. Just watch me be faithful. Watch soul be saved. Watch hearts be turned toward me. I have made you. I have called you. You’ve been sent.
Want to make a pact that we won’t be these kind of twins anymore? Want to agree to agree that we aren’t created to let fear and doubt guide us?
I can’t help but feel this cycle shows up every time we are really close to God’s real work in our lives. We are willing to walk with him so many steps before we begin to doubt what he ever told us- what he has ever done.
You have been called to fill in the blank.
I have been called to many things, but especially, I have been called to teach through my writing. It’s who God says I am. He said so. He’s brought others to say so. And he fills my heart up whenever it is happening. He meets me and sits with me and it’s terrifying and great all at once. So, when it’s 5 aye em on a Tuesday in summer, when I have no other reason to wake up, I will believe him when he wakes me up and says it’s time to write.
Your fill in the blank is vital to us. It’s vital to me. Please don’t make me miss out.