So I toss and turn until my brain gets so full I have to do something about it. I guess I’ll write to you people. Because I like you.
The birds are up and at ’em. Boy howdy, those guys sure like to make some noise in the four o’clock hour. I like it though. We have so many trees in our neighborhood, there’s bound to be a good nest or two to study in the fall with the kiddos.
Homeschooling again excites me. We have submitted most of our paperwork to the online school in which the kids will participate. They are a very organized group, but can I just say, the lady on my case is on my case. Know what I mean? She calls every three days. “It’s protocol” and by that she means “listen big haired lady. I have a job to do, and no matter what we may have agreed upon, I am going to call you and pretend that agreed upon never happened. Gimme your paperwork, and nobody gets hurt!”
For instance. I sent everything except proof of residence (I forgot), Elijah’s shot record update (he hasn’t updated it on account of I haven’t taken him to get his shot on account of we were in Vegas for the week, which she also knew), and the kids’ most recent report cards (because I JUST got them in the mail late Friday night). So Stalky McStalkerton called TWICE and sent TWO emails yesterday. I missed both of her calls, so I called her back. I was one of those people who says you are crazy, but I begin the conversation in my smiling voice and the phrase, “with all due respect,” and when I assume she is getting upset I remind her, “hey. I said with all due respect. You are sort of a stalker. Sometimes I talk, and you hear ‘I am sending you paperwork this instant’ instead of what I really said, which is ‘back off crazy town. I’ll win this.'” Ok. That was mostly inter-dialogue, but she’s scared.
Don’t get me wrong. We have enjoyed this school program, and I’d recommend it to almost anyone. It’s just that this lady takes her job very seriously. Paperwork is NOT a laughing matter.
[insert random office quote] yah, I have lots of questions. First of all, how dare you?
So I guess I will be taking my son for his shot this week. Faxing in a few papers. And singing Brass Monkey by the Beastie Boys, which I used to think was about a guy with a lot of stress, but fancy stress, so his monkey is brass. Now I am beginning to think it’s a drug reference. Maybe I’ll find a new song.
[insert random office quote]
Michael: Hmm… Jim? I am downloading some N3P…
Jim: That’s not it.
Michael: For a CD mix tape…
Michael: For Holly.
Michael: And I’m looking for perfect songs that work on two levels.
Jim: What are the two levels?
Michael: The two levels being, uh, Welcome to Scranton…
Michael: And I love you.
While we are on the subject, I miss The Office. Those guys have been in my life, faithful for years. Now they are just some friends I used to know from Scranton.
I went to the gym yesterday. It was quick and painful. CrossFit you two- timing back stabber. I can hardly walk up (or down) my stairs. I hope you are happy with yourself. I look like an idiot.
Today should be exciting. It’s day two of my job. Yesterday went well. I ate a healthy lunch and drank a seriously delicious cafe mocha, straight from the Keurig. Is this even how you spell this funny name? Whatevers. It was yum.
Today though, I get to take two teenagers (one who has my snarky wit and is merely using my place of business as a pick up joint. I mean she Is being picked up there by a friend. And another who is spending the day with me because I like her. She’s not my kid. Just on loan.)
Also, I get a new computer, and I have a meeting with a former student’s mamma. She works at this crazy great blog/website called Just For You Mom.* She said she might want me to write a little ditty or a little datty for the blog. I am super stoked, because that would be brilliant that’s why.
*if you are reading this before the new computer is up and running, this won’t be a link. If you are reading this after I add the link, and you are a mom, check out that website. RESOURCES galore! Encouraging words. Some funny. Maybe this girl. We will see. It would be fun to have a different venue every once in a while.
[insert random office quote]
Michael: We’re like Friends. I am Chandler, and Joey, and Pam is Rachel, and Dwight is Kramer.
Back to sleep. Maybe I can get a full forty five minutes.
Ps this picture makes my uterus arise from its slumber and quiver and reconsider my adamant stance on the residence there.