I just finished reading Jami Amerine’s Stolen Jesus. In it she confesses her belief in all the Jesuses. Plural.
Before this book, I never really considered the idea of more than one Jesus. All I’ve ever been told is “he’s enough,” and I believed it. With my words.
She talks about how she saw Jesus-how she defined who he is-at various stages of her life. 5th grade Jesus. Wrathful Jesus. Justin’s Jesus. And more. But she left one out.
Mosquito Jesus. I used to believe in Mosquito Jesus. He’s totally made up.
I was raised to say yes when your pastor asked you to do something. No one actually said that to me. No one even modeled that to me. I made it up.
In my child mind, it made sense that if my pastor asked me. ME. To do something, I assumed he prayed about who to ask. And probably he should have (although now I know he really didn’t much). But I don’t blame him, because it turns out that I didn’t pray about it either.
I based my answer off how impressive that new role made me feel. And the more he asked, the more impressive I felt. So the more I said yes. Until I was spending more time serving my church than I spent being a wife or mom. I was pouring out more than my body could sustain.
And in my limited understanding of A) my fanciness, 2) my calling, and D) the Real Jesus I began to believe that I was doing the best when I was being sucked dry for Jesus. I was following mosquito Jesus. I decided he was only satisfied when he had bled me dry.
The Real Jesus never asked any of that from me. In fact he really only asked me for a couple things. Seek him and love others. Love God and love others. Cry out to him for guidance and pour out my real life heart, so others will know we are all crazy and seriously need the Real Jesus together.
Not alone. Instead we are all in this together and we all get the Real Jesus.
So who is your Jesus? Is he keeping you from knowing the Real Jesus?
I couldnt agree more. I often get stuck following mosquito Jesus too. Thanks for the reality check.
You just described what I had done for years…until I crashed and burned. After months of soul searching, personal study and finally getting to read Stole Jesus I feel like I am getting to know real Jesus at last!
Ok… I LOVE this! When I was younger I knew this lady– she actually made my wedding cake– but she LOVED mousquito Jesus! She played the organ at church, she, sang at church she taught she well, she had 6 or 7 kids her house was a mess because she was always at church… and I would always wonder REALLY??? Is that what Jesus wants??? And we all have to setttle down and realize we can’t “earn’ his love! Can’t do it! He is NOT a mousquito Jesus! He is a transfusion Jesus! He doesn’t drain you,.. He fills you up!