I was flipping through Pinterest one day and came across a DIY blog that had a well written author and cute ideas. I saved the blog to my bookmarks.
This morning, when I woke at five because my internal clock obviously functions on New York time (I don’t have the answers you are looking for), I read my bible, read a devotional, checked my emails, prayed for a few people on my mind, read through my list of blogs in my bookmarks; you know. The yoosh.
So this new blog, which has decidedly been removed from my list, hasn’t made the cut. And it isn’t just the author. Although she’s slightly bonkers in her angry stage. Her readers and their comments hurt too much.
She wrote about how tired she is of women being asked to dress modestly. She quoted scripture, confessed to being no longer Christian, and belittled men for being so simple minded. And like a true politician, she incited the riot, and then she cut bait. She had so many comments: back and forth arguments. It was crowd mentality at its finest. This is nothing like nonsense at its finest. Well. Not really.
She blames the church. Well who doesn’t, lady. It makes sense though, since God created everything. But in a way, blaming God (because deep down we all know he is the beginning and the end -it’s why everyone on a crashing plane prays) just proves that he pretty big.
She blames men. She blames society. And the most interesting point? When she blames rapists for blaming women. Weird but true. I’d love to see the research on this.
My question isn’t about modesty at all. It’s more about why people get so heated over things that are so minor.
Hear me out. Modesty is important. I know what you are doing when your boobs show. I know what you are looking for when you wear those short shorts and then pretend you don’t see when people are looking. I have boobs. I get it.
But what does religion have to do with modesty? Nearly the entire thread of comments was about “as a Christian”. At one point, a woman introduced herself as a Mormon and preceded it with “Christian or not”. Whoa lady. You better check yourself. Before you wreck yourself. (Is it her fault if these readers do not understand the rules of word modifiers? What she meant was this isn’t a religious issue).
And I agree. We all live on the same earth, but we do not all live in the same world. We just don’t. I have never been raised in a male dominated country (although my grandfather might have sent me on a ship back to Lebanon if my family would have let him. He had hopes I would be a belly dancer. Aw. Grandpa. Funny.) I have never had sisters. I have never lived as a girl who DIDN’T have three older brothers. Our worlds aren’t the same.
My modesty levels were not set by the church. They were set by my brothers. And not because they were getting back to their Lebanese roots and bossing me as the men. They approved or disapproved based on their experience as dudes. And I approved and disapproved based on my experience as a chick. I never want my body to be a conversation piece, even as someone’s inter dialogue.
And someone along the way reminded me that one day I’ll have a husband, and while I don’t mean I am a possession when I say I belong to my husband,
I belong to my husband. He belongs to me. It’s even. We are gifts, not property.
It’s not religion. It’s self respect. It’s not men’s incapable feeble minds. It’s respecting others.
Men aren’t feeble. They are more than capable. They are strong and gentle and full of all the gifts God left to them : love, kindness, self-control…
Their shoulders are literally broad for a figurative reason. They carry so much. Why does it offend so many women to cover up a smidgeon and help them focus?
It’s pride. We feel a certain way when we dress a certain way so we ignore how it might affect others.
Less religion and more common sense. Because hey, if I knew you loved alcohol. I mean REALLY loved alcohol. And maybe it’s caused you to slip up a few times, would I walk by you on the street and offer you a drink? Would I invite you to a movie or church or the roller rink and hold my drink in your face, daring you not to touch and being offended when you did? No. I do what most Christians do: drink in private and share a bottle of water with you 😉
Mostly what I want to say is thanks for being intelligent. I’m glad you don’t attack one another in the comment section. “I like the way you talk”.