I Think I Put God On Hold

This year is honestly not unlike any other year. I’ve had a lot of big changes. Last year it was book publishing Missionary Mom-which incidentally is on sale because it’s her birthday- and the year before that it was grad school and changing jobs, and, and, and. I’m finding this is going to be how things are around here.

Big changes. Big adventures. Big hair. Except right now my hair is small because #braids.

All of this sounds exciting, right? And it is. I’ve realized I’m a project based person to me core. I love trying new things, tackling new roles, except for grant maintenance. Please don’t ask me to do that.

But I’ve also found, it takes a lot out of me to transition. And the byproduct of that too often seems to be me setting aside my real time with God as I struggling to settle into my new routine.

Anyone else have this problem? It’s the worst of my flaws. I just know he’s there, he’s gonna keep being there, and somewhere in my mind I’ve decided he knows what I mean anyway, so I’ll get there when I get there. When things slow down.

But the slow down isn’t my normal. So before I know it, a week has gone by and the bookmark on my Bible hasn’t moved. My prayer journal hasn’t been touched. And I’m definitely struggling to know God’s voice over the din of the world.

That terrifies me. Sure I pray, sure I know scripture, I go to church, I talk about God, I know him. And I know he knows me. But I’m not giving my best when I put God on hold, so I can find my coveted routine.

So. I’m making some changes. I’m picking up the phone and joining the conversation with the one who loves me best. The one who wants the biggest and wildest for me. I’m getting back to just being with the one who called me to stand here in the first place. The one who made a way so I will never have to pay my way out of what I really deserve. He deserves better.

Here’s my plan:

TV and phones off at 9:30. Like off off. Turned off.

In bed by 9:30 with weapons in hand (Bible, prayer journal, pen, post its)

That’s it. That’s my plan. Should be easy enough to implement.

Oh, and I read my Bible at night. I find I am more alert and I sleep better with God’s Word floating around in there. And mornings are for snuggling in my house.