Dear Daughter,

I can’t be your friend. I just can’t. Friends keep secrets even when they should probably tell someone. Friends borrow clothes and lend clothes and talk for long periods of time about nothing. They turn an eye, even when they know what you’re doing is kind of wrong because they are doing that same kind of wrong and don’t want you to point it out either.

Friends agree with you when you say your parents or some other authority figure is wrong. They tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes, these friends even give you terrible advice that moves you away from what is right and inevitably away from God. Other times friends make you offers you can’t refuse but lead you down a dangerous road. Until you look around and they have bailed and you are standing there knee deep in poor choices.

No. I can’t be this person for you.

However, I can be dependable. And I can promise you that most of the time, I will attempt to herd you back to Christ- the one who will love you even better than me. I can call you out when you are rude.

I wholeheartedly agree to give you the best advice possible. Advice based in love and the potential God shows me for you. I will tell you what you need to hear, but I promise to say it in love. I will expect you to respect authority.

When you bring home friends that give me the mom-vibe and cause the Holy Spirit to drop a warning into my heart, I promise to be frank with you and hold you to clearly spoken boundaries. And when you are making dangerous choices, I will love you enough to say so. Because I know you are human and you are God’s and when these two things are true of a person, all they really want is a way out of the mess in which they find themselves.

So here it is. This is your free pass. I am your get out of jail free card. I am not your friend.

Love,

Your Mom