I Totally Chickened Out: Thank Your Everybody

I admired something on my Instagram story because it was right in the middle of the day when I knew most of you wouldn’t be available to watch. Plus, I knew it would disappear in 24 hours, and there would be no proof that I was a total clown on live radio. Last week was launch week. Translation, I am tired and my words escape me. Especially when it’s 7 aye em and my coffee is still brewing. There was this whole plan. I was going to wake up 30 minutes earlier than I did. I was going to chat…

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What’s Going On Around Here? FBI Confessions

Well, I will tell you. Everything. Or at least that’s what it feels like. Some days I have nearly no plans whatsoever, and the next I go from meeting to meeting, to work, and then to more meetings. I believed people when they said launching a book is hard and busy work. It’s been both of those. It turns out that writing the book is only like a 1/3 of the work. The next 1/3 is what I am doing now: podcast interviews (and this podcast interview), radio shows, book clubs, and writing articles for Tom, Carl, and Janey. (These…

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I Can’t Keep Going Like This

Is it me or has the struggle been even more real lately? Every where I turn someone’s marriage is shattered. Not struggling. I mean shattered. Or someone’s child committed suicide. The diagnosis was too much. Our whole city is on fire. Literally. Someone’s mama passed suddenly. That wife is walking along side her husband as he suffers an illness. There’s so much heavy my shoulders are just about too heavy for me to hold up. The truth is, my shoulders have no business hanging on to those hurts. The problem is I can’t seem to shove those burdens off. I…

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Part-Time God

I sat in church this morning thinking of some questions. Are we getting in the way of God fighting for our kids? Protecting our kids isn’t wrong, sure, but are we letting them experience nothing? Are we swooping in too quickly? God is mighty. Most of us agree to that with words. But then we jump in front of the train of natural consequences that’s meant for our kids. We rush in and say “I’ve got you. I can protect you. I can save you.” But actually none of that is true. Not really. I can’t save anyone including myself.…

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A Demon Whispered In My Ears This Morning

Sometimes the devil amuses me. This morning I couldn’t sleep, so I donned my Beats and crawled out to the couch. Four aye em, but as long as I’m up I may as well get after it. I planned to get work done on my current project: prevention curriculum for at risk kids. Specifically kids at risk for being trafficked right out of schools. The schools in my own neighborhood. It pisses me off enough that four aye em is just fine. I did the usual things we do in preparation. Grab favorite quilt. Get some water. Forget to grab…

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Hemmed In

I prefer to be hemmed in. Not just surrounded by seemingly safe boundaries. More like if I was a little shorter I might insist God swaddle me in a baby blanket. Super tight. Super secure. Maybe leave my arms out because I’m handsy. Rather I talk with my hands.  So, when God asked me to step into one of the scariest- who am I kidding? This is THE scariest place I’ve been in a while. Anyway. When God started make it known that he wanted me to set my fears aside and follow him down this slightly different path I…

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Mosquito Jesus

I just finished reading Jami Amerine’s Stolen Jesus. In it she confesses her belief in all the Jesuses. Plural.  Before this book, I never really considered the idea of more than one Jesus. All I’ve ever been told is “he’s enough,” and I believed it. With my words.  She talks about how she saw Jesus-how she defined who he is-at various stages of her life. 5th grade Jesus. Wrathful Jesus. Justin’s Jesus. And more. But she left one out.  Mosquito Jesus. I used to believe in Mosquito Jesus. He’s totally made up.  I was raised to say yes when your…

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God, You’re Borderline Ridiculous

Seriously. I’m looking at this past week, and I can’t even. We always quip that God’s timing is perfect. But I don’t think we often believe it.  Most times I look around and think this is probably the worst time for this. “This” being anything whatsoever that is hard for me. Anything that requires endurance or strength (inside or out) or anything that requires me to look God in the face for longer than eight seconds. I’m more convinced now that God’s timing is borderline ridiculous. This last week, I finished my master’s in theology, sent in my manuscript for…

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Crossing Your Red Sea

I’m watching from across the country as Texans deal with losing and then losing more the next day. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been pushed to take a good look at her life because of it all. I’m tempted to worry because I know a few too many people who live there. It wouldn’t matter as much if I didn’t like those people, but I do. I care about them greatly.  And it’s got me thinking about God’s goals for all of us. What’s that guy’s big idea? I really WANT to know, but I don’t need…

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Talking to Job

Today marks one month since I found a lump in my right breast. I won’t belabor it. It’s only a cyst according to the mammogram and ultrasound. Nothing more needs to be done at this point, they said.  It’s about the size of a large grape or maybe it’s a small golf ball. But something like that showing up on a body you’ve known for over forty years is unsettling. Especially, when your mother is a breast cancer survivor.  They called her stage two.  My anxiety was further increased when I began filling out the paper work. They had boxes…

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