This one is a request from some moms out there. You know who you are. Who we all are, because really, this one is for all of us. And sometimes we need this one on repeat.
I want to raise my kids to honor others and function in society. So naturally they act like spazzes. But I like it. It keeps my pride in check and reminds me that I am not the world’s best mom. Maybe I am the world’s most repetitive mom. I will fight you for that title.
I say things like, “Child. We are going to go into this grocery store. You’ll probably get bored of obeying the rules I want to lay upon you and you will feel stifled. So I will say this. Don’t touch anything you don’t have money to replace. Don’t lick. anything. Just don’t lick anything. And I should be able to see you or at least know where you are at all times. The end.”
This lasts for at least 27 minutes. And then I have to step in. And first I will confess something. I sometimes get really irritated when my kids make me look bad. This is a legit true look into the junky spaces of my heart. Sometimes, when my kids misbehave, I am more concerned with how I look as a mother and not nearly enough time on that reteaching moment.
It’s in these moments I have the most to grow, but that I also have the most power. I have the power to break a kid and demand respect. I can insist that they obey. I can require so much of them that they hang their head in shame. But is that my goal? Is that my mission? Breaking kids? Or making them into the men and women they are meant to be?
Instead of letting my pride get in the way, I want to choose to build and restore and most of all to love first. So instead of lashing out or being frustrated at my kids for acting their age and not like I am Mary Poppins (bucket list-be Mary Poppins) I can simply redirect. I can reteach. I can use this minute to deal with them closely- just between us. I can get really close so they are my only audience.
I call this parenting small. It isn’t complex. It means that I don’t parent loudly; I parent in a way that honors them as little (or big) humans and helps them hear my expectations and not my offense. Because if we are offended by our kids we are totally missing the mark. They aren’t misbehaving to bother us. Their whole lives are guess and check. Try and fail. Try and succeed.
And I can remember that my kids are actually pretty great. Our kids are great. Want to make a deal that we tell them that more often? That we treat them with respect even when they pretend they are not our 6 year old and yell, “Sheesh, lady, you aren’t even my mom. Stranger danger!” to all the nearby people in Walmart? Yah. That’s my real life. #OhAddison
Thanks for being here to celebrate my birthday month! #shes40 I am posting everyday of October for the 31 day blogging challenge and giving you all the presents! Share a post on Facebook, and your name gets entered in to the mix for a prize- you won’t want to miss these! Share one post, you get entered into the drawing once. Share each of the 31 days, and you have 31 chances to win one of many goodies. Be sure to tag me in the post, so your entry does’t get lost in the algorithm vortex. Some affiliate links may be used.
See you tomorrow,