31 Ways to Raise ‘Em Right: Don’t Be This Mom

Like so many parenting stories, this one starts off on the right foot, but then turns a little sour. Let’s agree to not be this mom.

Genesis 25 gives a bird’s eye view into the lives of Isaac and Rebekah and their boys, Jacob and Esau. As sad as it is that Rebekah was struggling to conceive, I love that this story begins with Isaac pleading to God on her behalf. She ends up having twins! He prayed for 20 years for those little miracles before they showed up.

They raised their boys according to their unique ways, which is great, until it reached a point where they played favorites. What?? We would never, right? Are you ready for the saddest conjunction in the entire Bible? here it is.

“Isaac loved Esau because he enjoyed eating the wild game Esau brought home, BUT Rebekah loved Jacob.” But? But?? What does this mean? I’m about to get all English teacher here, but we use the word “but” when we switch from one thing to its opposite-to the negative.

I love chocolate, but I can’t eat it everyday.

I could easily eat chips and salsa with a coffee chaser, but my taste buds may not appreciate that.

I would love to stay in my bed a read all day, but I would lose my job.

I want to love both of my twin boys, but Isaac loves Esau and I love Jacob. Wait? What? This one doesn’t work. This tiny three letter word isn’t an accident. There is no such thing in God’s Word. This little conjunction gives us a glimpse at how not to parent.

Maybe you are thinking everyday moms don’t do this. I’ve seen it. Often. And none of these moms do it on purpose-no healthy parent would look at their kids and say, “I want to love you all, but I am choosing this one.” It doesn’t look like that.

It looks more like one kid loves your same sport or favorite team, loves your same hobbies, is a social butterfly or homebody just like you-you have more in common. Seems innocent enough. Unless you are the kid with opposite interests. Unless that kid doesn’t have the same amount of space with you. Unless that kid has managed to be the personality type that pushes your buttons, so it’s easier to lean away from them.

I knew a dad who loved loved loved baseball. a lot. So much loved baseball. His oldest boy loved everything he loved, so he too loved baseball. Played his whole life. Probably still playing. Dad was at every game, even if he sat on the bench. They watched games together and even traveled to see games live together. This boy had a great relationship with his dad. A very different experience than his brother.

This same dad loved both of his boys. It was obvious that he did. But this second son tried to love baseball, but he didn’t really. He played baseball for a little bit, but then he realized he was a homebody. He loved movies and music and his sister. He worked hard and often and went to concerts. It happened slowly-the space between them. Almost at the same time that the mom started overcompensating for the dad’s lack of interest.

Soon the brothers didn’t have much in common and the younger son began having serious life struggles. His life was cut short, so I can’t even give you a happy ending to this, except that there is a very good chance he is with Jesus.

I know this post may seem far fetched to many of you. However, it’s too common not to bring up. I just want to encourage you to pray and make sure there is zero space like this between you and your kids. And I hope you know I don’t mean we should not hang out with our kids as we enjoy our favorite hobbies. Just be sure to pair it with things your kids love-all of them. Fight to find those commonalities.

img_3650The devil won’t want you to win this one. What he wants is for us to justify or gloss over this uncomfortable idea. Don’t give him that.



To help you find that balance (and even those of you that seem to fare better at this than the rest of us), I am giving you another chance at one of my most favorite items. This journal helps you “focus on what matters & live it every day.” It’s called the GOOD BAD REAL LIFE Journal, and it’s brought to you by my new friend Charity Reeb, my hero in the art of momming for real.

This journal startimg_3651s with you reading the Bible. The ACTUAL Bible. Not someone else’s sum up of it all. Some days I read a verse. Some days I read a section. And now and then I read a full chapter. Charity walks you through the real life balancing act of our responsibilities and spiritual needs. This takes place of your morning devotions, and it’s been a game changer for this working mom.
I have been handing these gems out at my speaking engagements when I feel there is someone in particular who really needs one. Usually, I get a call about two weeks later saying they can’t even handle how great this journal has been for their real lives. I just love that!

Thanks for being here to celebrate my birthday month! #shes40 I am posting everyday of October for the 31 day blogging challenge and giving you all the presents! Share a post on Facebook, and your name gets entered in to the mix for a prize- you won’t want to miss these! Share one post, you get entered into the drawing once. Share each of the 31 days, and you have 31 chances to win one of many goodies. Be sure to tag me in the post, so your entry does’t get lost in the algorithm vortex. Some affiliate links may be used.

See you tomorrow,